(Jesus) healed the sick without a government health care system. He feed [sic] the hungry without food stamps. And everywhere He went, it turned into a rally, attracting large crowds, and giving them hope, encouragement and inspiration. For three years He was unemployed, and never collected an unemployment check. Nevertheless, he completed all the work He needed to get done…

The liberal court found Him guilty of false offenses and sentenced Him to death, all because He changed the hearts and minds of men with an army of twelve. Never before and not since has there ever been such a perfect conservative. For over 2,000 years the world has tried hard to erase the memory of the perfect conservative, and His principles of compassion, caring and common sense.

Herman Cain discussing Jesus in his article, “The Perfect Conservative,” last year.

Okay, the whole liberals killed Jesus thing - he’s pretty clear there, and it’s, uh, a little bizarre. I have a Jewish friend still trying to figure out if this is anti-semitic because, as she said, all the Jewish people she knows are fairly liberal.

That notwithstanding, didn’t Jesus supposedly perform miracles to do things like healing the sick? Isn’t that setting the bar a little high for us non-miracle performing folk who’d just like to be able to see a doctor once in awhile?

Maybe the rallies are where this gem of a sign came from:

Kidding! (Sort of)

I guess I missed the part where Galilee had socialized medicine and Jesus was all like, “Forget you, commie doctors!” and healed the lepers in defiance of their death panel’s wishes.

I must have also missed where the ancient Israelites passed out WIC cards and Jesus said, “Lo, cast away thy cards of dependence and come onto me, for I will feed you without socialism.”

I think that must have been in the Gospel of Mark or something. 

h/t to Daily Kos

(via cognitivedissonance)

(via cognitivedissonance)

Source: northstarnational.com

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    My retort: The fuck McFuckenstein what-the-christ?
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    Let’s think about this much more matter-of-factly: the author of this quote claims that Jesus is a conservative. The...
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